i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
