I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Boobs speak an international language.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
