there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
