It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
