Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn