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My room smells like vodka and shame
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Randomize
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