Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
