Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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