Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
