Need sex. Gaining weight.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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