just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
