Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
