when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
