Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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