proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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