dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
