i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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