May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
