I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just blew my weed a kiss
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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