I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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