I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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