Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
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My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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