so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
