i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
