never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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