you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
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is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
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Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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