you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
