I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize