He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Too much gin, very little bucket
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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