I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it glows. i had to have it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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