After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
