Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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