No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize