my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
