do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
