where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
