do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
