just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
COCAINE IS GR8
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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