I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
