are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
