i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
