She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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