you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
