when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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