So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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