Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im holly from the hills drunk
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
