I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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