I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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