are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
