he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
