how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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