I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
