I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
