dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
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Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
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I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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