so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
