I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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