im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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