It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
