So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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