When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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