I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
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She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
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I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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