Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Randomize
