The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
