This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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