I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize