I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
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So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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