its not stalking. its research.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
