How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
