Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am available for nakedness
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
