My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
