we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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